shut your mouth, cant you hear you talk too loud? no i cant hear nothing cause ive got my head in the clouds

i can feel myself getting addicted again. its sneaking up on me. im supposed to be a social smoker now but i smoke too often to call it that. just found on my phone this old memo, brings back memories:

list of cravings

a run

cigarette

fuck a beautiful boy

get away

not do any work

listen to music

be lazy

sleep in the park

take off my skirt

have another cigarette

i dont wanna go back to that but i dunno if im strong enough to prevent it. i have such an addictive personality, god knows why i started smoking. 

when darkness comes upon you and sleep no longer finds your bed be still and know that im with you

heres a picture overload for monday. my fav is the guys cycling in the sky

but i dont wanna live that way reading into every word you say

so as you may have guessed from the pics (btw these are all from weheartit as are most of the pics i post).. it is snowing in england! it started yesterday when i was going for a walk with some friends and we were like wait is it snowing?! so i have unearthed my snow boots. its so beautiful outside. it feels magical.

the title lyrics are from gotye. everyone has remixed that song but the best one is a mashup with jess mills by dj schmolli (wierd dj name but check it out here.)

he holds me in his big arms drunk and i am seeing stars... this is all i think of

so if you read my last post youll know that i didnt know if to get with this new boy. i was just so confused as to what my next move should be. but thankfully i got with him and it wasnt really a mistake. man i needed that. i dunno what i want to happen. im sure he wants to be fuck buddies but i dont really want that with him.i dont mind getting with him every now and again but i dont get on with him so well and he wasnt that good. i just want a boy who has amazing technique.oh well a girl can dream

it gets harder everday but i cant seem to shake the pain.. i cant function the same when your not here im calling your name and no ones there

yeah this is a post about boys. just watched the latest episode of skins and man im a mess. i cant believe grace dies. i was crying more than her dad. i hate it when that happens. the perfect couple gets broken up.

so currently im really unsure about everything. i dont have a boyfriend and ive become friends with this guy. tbh i love flirting but i dunno if to take things further. i know he wants things to happen but i dunno if im fed up with the whole fuck buddy situation. or maybe its him. hes just so not my type. i dunno if im gonna regret it or not. im soooo confused. its been like a month now since i got with a guy so my body is like sex sex sex but im not sure about things with him. he might be shit in bed. and hes so immature. ahhhhhhhhh. he just sent me another suggestive text. god this is all happening too fast. im scared of fucking up like ive done in the past and im just really not sure about him. i guess we'll see what happens. im just gonna go with my instinct and hey im a teenager, im allowed to do things i know are stupid and i know i'll regret. sometimes i just cant wait to grow up x