Wednesday, January 18

im damaged goods for all to see now who would ever want to be with me?

im going through a pretty hard time at the moment. ive currently got exams and ive done fuck all studying. i find it so hard to study. i'll sit down to write an essay and it will literally take me hours. i find i get so distracted. i think the real problem is not the subjects im taking coz i do enjoy them its just coz i hate school, hate manchester and just wanna get the fuck away from everything and everyone.
im such an extrovert so school is hard coz i dont get on with the people there, so im spending all day every day with people who are coming from a different place than me. last year i tried to ignore that and just get on and be friendly but it didnt work. these people arent interested. so now i keep myself to myself but its hard to be so isolated. i have real friends but im not with them most of the time. i just think emotional and physically its so draining and when i get home i need an escape. i guess thats why ive turned to blogging again.
so ive already had 2 exams and they went okay but its so frustating coz i know i could do so much better if i could just concentrate. i just dont want to do this again in june and truly fuck my A levels up. after two years work i might as well get the results that im capable of. its so tempting to just say fuck it and leave but i know i need to get through this and its not worth leaving now. just 6 months to go. half a fucking year of misery. perfect. i just wanna escape (cue the picture)

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