so he went crazy at 19 so he lost all his self esteem and couldnt understand why he was crying.... he would stare at empty chairs and think of the ghosts that once sat there the ghosts that broke his heart

you know what i feel like im coping now. before i felt out of my depth, like i couldnt deal with all the things that are happening but im feeling more calm. whatever will be will be. yes lifes shit at the moment but i just need to get on with it and find more and more pictures. ahh my life is weheartit and internet shopping at the moment. thats getting me through. and i have an exam on tuesday but we're not talking about that. ahh but i feel good.. well in the limited way a depressed person can feel good but still its a start. 

and i tried to be a girl who likes to be used, im too good for that theres a mind under this hat

fuck sake why do i have to fall for a boy? its literally the last thing i want right now. im pretty picky when it comes to falling for boys but god this boy just gets right under my skin. hes just come out of nowhere. hes clever, sarcastic even cute. ahhh this is bad. really bad. i just spend the whole day with him and some other friends and i was trying not to jump on the kid too much. i honestly dont think he feels the same way which is good coz relationships scare me shitless and if anything happens with him its gonna be emotional and scary. thing is if he does feel the same way then i dont think i could say no to him. however scared i am i wouldnt be able to let an opportunity like this pass by.

he doesnt like me. im sure he doesnt like me. ahhh he better not.